Ms. A works in a financial institution. After her marriage failed a few years ago, she focused 100% on her work and her career soared. One day, she attempted suicide by taking rat poison at home. Fortunately, her domestic helper discovered her in time. This is not the first time. She also tried to jump off a building a few months ago.
On Sunday afternoon, a big client suddenly missed an appointment. Ms. A was flustered and kept blaming herself. While passing Statue Square, she happened to find her housemaid passing the time with friends. The housemaid offered food from her home country. “It’s so dirty, why would I eat that?” This thought immediately appeared in Ms. A’s mind. “You’ve eaten rat poison. What are you scared of?” Another thought appeared in her mind. “Ha, turns out these things are delicious.” When the housemaid invited Ms. A to join a traditional dance, “So embarrassing, what if people see me like this?” “You tried jumping off a building, what are you scared of?” “Ha! It’s so fun to ignore other people’s opinions.”
Afterward, Ms. A asked herself why the more she worked hard to make progress and stay dressed and groomed every night, the more painful she became. A person who was dependent on others and received a meager salary was happy and could encouraged her to survive. The housemaid said, “Madam, thank you for giving me a day off every Sunday so that I can spend time with my fellow friends.” It turns out that on this half-day every week, she can share her true feelings with similar people, with no pressure to please others or achieve business goals. Just messing around and laughing can save lives.
Ms. A decided to try imitating the living principle of the housemaid. She joined a volunteer group and met a group of people who did nothing to help her rise to power. She has greatly reduced her ambition and added some “zero value” activities to her life. When choosing people to associate with, the criteria are no longer just “You are a stepping stone I can use to get to the top” or “You have connections that I can leverage”. She no longer spends every moment mechanically and racking her brains to figure out everyone’s preferences, faking it until she makes it, to win trust and favor as quickly as possible. She learns to connect authentically with people, musters up the courage to speak her truth, and learns to stop using compliments that go against her conscience.
Slowly, her heart changed, and her suicidal thoughts disappeared. She realized that her previous suicidal behavior was caused by self-hatred. There was a voice in her heart that wanted to eliminate this profit-seeking, hypocritical, and ugly woman. The originally cute and amiable self can finally show up. It turned out that she was almost strangled to death by the curse of fame and fortune in Hong Kong society. She has to thank the big client who missed the appointment.
(Details of the story have been modified to protect patient privacy)
Written by: Dr. William Chui
Translated by: Cheuk Long Chan
